Motorsports To Go! January 10, 2021

Welcome to Motorsports To Go! Each week, we will take a look at an upcoming event on We will tell you everything you need to know in order to participate. It’s the easiest way to get out of your recliner and into the driver’s seat. We’ll be covering everything from $25 autocrosses to million-dollar “gentlemen racer” opportunities, all of them explained in simple English via the same basic set of questions. Let’s get started!

What is it? NCM Motorsports Park “King Of The Heap” — register at MotorsportReg.

Well, what is it? It’s an autocross, AND it’s a time trial, AND it’s a group activity, AND it’s for cars valued at $1000 (one thousand, ten Benjis) or less!

Where is it? NCM Motorsports Park in Bowling Green, KY

What’s it cost? $300

What kind of car do I need? A crummy one! Read the full rules here, but basically you’re looking for a car that isn’t an SUV or pickup, in running condition, with working seatbelts. Convertibles ARE allowed!

What kind of personal equipment do I need? Snell SA2010 or newer helmet, long pants, closed toe shoes, and a foam neck collar or HANS device.

How long will it take? All day!

Will there be someone to answer my questions at the event? Yes, but you can also call NCM and talk to Matt Busby, the Heap Supremo. He’s waiting for your call, the more ridiculous the better!

Can I damage my car or get hurt? You bet your you-know-what you could — but a little discretion goes a long way, and if you’re not the kind of person who feels COMPELLED to get the last tenth out of a forty-year-old Chevette Scooter 2-door, I like your chances of staying safe.

Why would I bother to do it? This should be obvious to all right-thinking people.

What’s the hot setup, if I have time and money to prepare? Well, you’ll want to start with the spec tire, the Universal Tiger Paw, in the widest possible size that was available when the car was new. The hottest setup is a Pontiac Aztek, which receives special extra points! And if you’re going for an Aztek, why not go for one of the nice ones, with color-matched bumpers?

Give me two tips or tricks to really shine. You can never have too many spare parts. Make sure you have a list of every parts store near Bowling Green, Kentucky, along with their hours and contact information. While Mr. Busby is, strictly speaking, absolutely above all forms of bribery and/or skullduggery, that might just be because nobody’s found the right bribe yet. Keep that in mind.

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