According to you: Powers that make the ultimate automotive superhero?


Some of the questions we ask you to chime in on here at Hagerty Media are easy to come up with answers for. Asking about what rides you thought were the ultimate sleeper cars certainly fit that mold. Others, such as last week’s question about automotive superheroes, require a bit more thought. Nevertheless, you all came up with some doozies!

Assembled below are your ultimate automotive superheroes, or superpowers of an automotive nature.

The Super Machinist

Machine shop Jaguar engine block
Jim's Machine Shop, Inc

Hagerty Community member @John thinks that machine shop skills are pretty heroic, and we bet he’s not alone:

“What about a Super Machinist able to transform a filthy, worn out greasy ball of slop into a smooth and balanced unleaded-fuel-ready-shiny-fire-breathing-dragon able to run down evil doers with .030-inch overbore efficiency?

The age of the engine wouldn’t mater due to perfect honing pattern and superior ring seal, plus the perfect cam grind and valve train geometry. All done on the cheap. By the way these people might exist!”

Captain Camshaft?

Wedding on a Race Track (24 Hours of Lemons)
Sajeev Mehta

Our very own @MoparMarq came up with a great concept that I will call Captain Camshaft. He’s got the torque and a lopey swagger. And when he’s on the hunt for evil in our world? You better believe he spins up on an aggressive profile. He also has an “automatic cam lobe unflattening” capability which certainly comes in handy if a motor wasn’t quite assembled correctly! (Cue the Super Machinist.)

I imagine a world where Captain Camshaft is at the center of our superhero powers, with a team of heroes that work together to make a fantastic engine for Justice, Truth, and The American Way. There would be Sergeant Cylinder Head (he’s got the flow), Commander Crankshaft (forged by fire!), and Colonel Induction of the single and dual plane variety!

The Deflator

Down you go! Mille Bornes |

Hagerty Community member @Dammit Man came up with a great superpower when he created “the ability to flatten tire with just an angry thought.” This character definitely played Mille Bornes as a child and decided that cards of automotive treachery can be used for good, not evil.

And the name for such a clever character? The Deflator…but it’s a safe bet that run-flat tires are their kryptonite.

Super Power Grab Bag

Getty Images

@DUB6 and @Michael gave us several gems of superpowers that truly deserve your attention:

@DUB6: Paint that cannot be scratched and, in fact, that bullets will just bounce off of with no marks.

@Michael: Telekinesis, or the ability to move slow cars out of the fast lane with a push of the button.

@DUB6: Bumpers that repel ANYTHING they come into contact with.

@Michael: A “get out of bed and let your car prep you for your day” super power. A built-in shower, auto hairbrush/toothbrush/shaver. One wakes up and sets setting for “just good enough for work.”

@DUB6: Headlights that have both x-ray AND laser vision capabilities, allowing the driver to see through walls and destroy anything they shine onto.

@DUB6: An engine so powerful that the car can outrun ANY bad guy vehicle ever built.

@Michael: Cones of Silence when picking up your children’s friends from soccer. (Get Smart was genius!)

@DUB6: A power source that is super-secret and everlasting and that doesn’t produce one iota of pollution.

@Michael: A stand-in to take my wife out to dinner. Think of the movie Airplane with its blow up emergency autopilot. That way I can stay home, and watch Barn Find Hunter. 😉

@DUB6: Wings that can be extended out of the doors that allow the car to fly with the push of a button!


Did the superpower that you have in mind get mentioned above? If not, let us know in the comments to this story what superpower you think the perfect automotive superhero (or superhero vehicle) would have!




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    Two that have always been fantasy ideas of mine are:
    A roof-mounted 50mm Howitzer.
    A device to either disable or send ear-piercing sounds to a cell-phone being used illegally. This may already exist.

    This very article suggests that real topics are now in short supply.

    I’m on board with the cell phone disabler, but I do not believe there was ever a 50mm howitzer. That caliber is way too small for what is essentially a small cannon (howitzer). In Vietnam, we had 105mm M102s, and those were actually considered quite small. I think the U.S. has had maybe up to 240mm howitzers in its inventory. The only thing we had at 50mm was actually a machine gun size weapon. I’m not really a weapons expert, so someone may prove me wrong.
    Anyway, although I’m frustrated by a lot of idiot drivers, having seen what artillery can do to buildings, vehicles, structures, and people, I don’t think having one on your roof would make you a superhero.

    And I don’t mean to say that a 50mm weapon IS a machine gun – I was referencing the size only as comparable to like an M60. Too big to really carry around, but way smaller than a howitzer.
    And I’ve already said WAY too much on the subject, so I’m gonna shut up now!

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