This spectacular ad for a crappy 2005 Chevy Cobalt makes you kind of want to buy it

crappy cobalt thumb Reid Zandbelt

Reid Zandbelt needed to move from Embrum, Ontario, to New Zealand. His 2005 Chevy Cobalt, on the other hand, would not be coming with him. He eventually sold it to another owner, likely through the pure genius of Reid’s hilarious classified ad on YouTube, which was even featured on NBC’s Today Show earlier this week.

Complete with a professional (or at least professional-sounding) voiceover, Reid’s video ad begins, “This is my superbly average 2005 Chevrolet Cobalt, Carmen. If you have no intentions of ever getting laid again, buy this car now… and start driving it.”

The video goes on to point out some of Carmen’s “remarkable features,” which include an off-color driver’s door handle and “left and right turn signals that work. Not that you’ll ever use them; nobody ever does.” And, the ad insists, “you’ll be thrilled with the aftermarket front speakers and radio system, because 17-year-old me thought that was a smart decision.”

Reid (or his surprisingly charismatic alter ego) goes on to explain that “this old girl has a hefty 230,000 kilometers [143,000 miles] on her but runs like the wind. Speaking of the wind, that’s the closest thing you’ll get to air conditioning, but you will get to roll down the windows, because, you love the challenge.”Just then, the window handle comes off in Reid’s hand.

The Cobalt is powered by a 2.2-liter Ecotec engine, mated to a five-speed manual transmission. And thanks to its engine service light, Reid says, “When you drive at night, a gorgeous orange glow illuminates the dash wonderfully, constantly reminding you that this car is a piece of garbage.”

The video concludes, “Even though this car is a joke, the ad is not. Starting at $799. That’s seven hundred and ninety-nine dollars, not seven dollars and ninety-nine cents, although that seems reasonable.”

Before you rush off to buy Reid’s Cobalt for yourself, he says it sold five days ago—not for $799, but for a discounted 700 bucks. Mark it down as a victory. And, hey, if New Zealand is looking for an aspiring advertising executive, that ol’ Cobalt might pay for itself, after all.

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