Wondering who I am is an uphill battle, even more so when a nice car is involved. My coming out as a Gay man was done with the help of a product of American Motors Canada Ltd. In this case, an 1973 AMC Matador wagon. I was 19, wondering who I was in the time of "Trudeau-mania", and feeling that deep down soul love that being aware at an early age would forment. I was living with a full-of-life linesman for Ontario Hydro, and was learning the salient lives of our community, I dated, but never went the full 9 yards... It was at that time that the man I was with, Walter, was seeing that I was uninitiated into the Gay life, decided to consummate my entry into being a out person. So on my birthday, after a delicious dinner in Fort Erie, we were headed back to Hamilton on the 401, talking about what I wanted to do after university, and what being Gay (in Walter's reasoning) was really all about, not just Bars and Hustling and Tricks, but being intimate with the right man. After a few miles, he turned off the 401, in his brand-new Matador wagon and went thru the Ontario countryside, I asked, and he said, "Relax and be suprised." We went down a few miles, then turned off onto a dirt road. We went down that for a while to a small tree-lined gully, and stopped. He took out a blanket, spread it on the grass, took out a bottle of White Zinfandel and 2 glasses, and last a candle. He opened the Tailgate of the Matador, set the glasses and the candle on it, and lit it. He then said, "I want to let your first experience be your best one." and he kissed me. The next thing I knew, I was kissing him back. Needless to say, my inhibitions melted away, and I gave as much as he did me... We lay nude, spent and I was smiling, it was my first passionate act of love, and I became alive after so many shy years. Even though I'd have countless encounters, my first time would eclipse any other relationship I'd have in the years to come... And everytime I'd see a Matador wagon, I'd remember that passionate, tender night in 1973.