Dodge Hellcat Redeye Santa sleigh declares war on all chimneys

I’m firmly in the no-Christmas-till-after-Thanksgiving contingent, but corporate America tends to attack the holiday season rather early. And yet, Dodge’s latest Christmas-themed ad for the Hellcat Redeye doesn’t bother me nearly as much as it should.

The new Hellcat Redeye is more than a consolation prize for those who didn’t manage to pick up one of the 3300 Demons that sold out practically overnight. A 797-horsepower love letter to the destruction of rear tires, the Redeye’s suspension is nonetheless optimized for more than dragstrip launches. But after Santa got done with his, pavement is a distant memory.

Dodge didn’t have to look far for a muscular Santa, with ex-professional wrestler Goldberg reprising his role as Santa and taking the reins, declaring that his ride is in need of an update. What’s that? You never saw Goldberg as Santa in Santa’s Slay? You’re welcome (and I’m sorry).

With elves cutting, grinding, and welding while Santa tunes up the 6.2-liter supercharged V-8, the sleigh takes shape. Headers jut out of front-fenders, there’s an open-top, a low windshield, and it’s just about the biggest middle finger to those Christmas-themed Mercedes commercials where a red AMG GT flanks a pack of silver Benzes.

The Drive heard from a Dodge rep that the sleigh is indeed real, it runs, and it was made from an actual Redeye. Unfortunately, no amount of Christmas cheer will get this thing moving under its own power.

If you need me, I will be attempting to clean up my driving record in the hopes of Santa dropping by with his new sleigh this season. It puts a whole new meaning to Santa taking the Redeye flight to deliver gifts.